Gratitude Friday - Page From My Journal

I was a mom that was exhausted, drinking 6+ Dr. Peppers a day trying to find the energy to keep going, drinking too much red wine, hoping for a good night’s sleep, eating a TON of fast food and processed food because there literally was not enough hours in the day. Cooking a healthy meal??  Really?  I had 2 busy girls.   I had laundry, cleaning, meals, etc etc.  I had a stressful, busy job. I was taking college coursesl   I had puppies, you name it!

I had used portion control my entire life.  I ate everything I wanted but ate off a saucer.  It worked.  Until age 37.  The 40s started creeping in. My body changed.  It no longer responded the way it used to.  My usual tricks literally quit working.  I decided I was going to fight this thing called aging and would be in a bikini on my 40th birthday.  I started researching clean eating and the effects of sugar.  I changed my ways.  I researched  and improved my eating plan.   I was in a bikini on my birthday.  I felt amazing.    I kept going, kept pushing.   I loved the way I felt. I loved how much strength I had.  I loved the compliments I got.  Daily.  I progressed.  I pushed.   

Fast forward 7 years on this journey.  I  had progressed to spending a minimum of 3 hours a day in the gym.  I weighed, measured and logged every single bite I ate.  I NEVER ate off plan.  A cheat meal for me was cheese on something.  I ate chicken and spinach almost every single day.  I always turned down that happy hour glass of wine. I always turned down that ice cream trip with my family.  I felt like every single day I needed to do more, be better, work harder.  It was literally never enough.  I forgot the “living” in healthy living.  I had somehow lost my way. I look back on the pictures with sadness.  I literally never saw what I see now.   

Then I got severely injured.  Everything changed.  I was lost.  I was scared.  I didn’t  know what to do. I could not walk, much less work out.  I kept up with my meal plan.  That was literally the only thing I could control.    It was almost a full year before I started walking and was able to work out again.  My years of clean eating saved me.  Saved me.  I didn’t gain a pound.  I healed properly and quickly (relatively speaking.)  I realized I HAD to find a better way.  I had to learn to live again while still begin healthy.  

I decided I did not want to work out in a gym.  I absolutely hate everything about it.  For so many, it was a pick up joint or socialization hour.  I couldn’t get to the equipment I needed.  Someone was always wanting to chit chat. I switched to at home workouts.  My  workouts are 30-40 minutes a day now.  I never have to deal with that gym insanity.   My pups can be with me which makes me amazingly happy.   My meal plan allows for wine and chocolate.  (Seriously!)  I am just as healthy but SO much happier.  I actually ENJOY my healthy lifestyle again.  I don’t feel like there are not enough hours in the day to workout.  I can slip a workout in anywhere. Seriously anywhere during the day. I am beyond grateful!

My favorite part of my journey is sharing with  ladies and helping them find some “me” time to take care of themselves and be happy and healthy.  My best days are the days where I get a note or comment that someone is feeling better, healthier, losing weight, crushing their goalsl!  Absolutely nothing like it.  It is an amazing feeling and I am so grateful to be sharing my passion with others!  

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